How Am I Supposed To Confront My Girlfriend About Her Eating Disorder?My girlfriend has an eating disorder and I don't know how to talk to her about it.
Whenever I tell her she's skinny or something she takes it as a compliment.
Whenever I tell her I don't think she needs to lose weight she just smiles and says "aww it's real sweet of you to say that" in a tone that totally suggests the I don't know what I'm talking about and she's not listening to me.
I've tried sitting her down once or twice and talking to her seriously but she always ends up in tears and tells me I'm being too controlling and that she should be allowed to live her life without me breathing down her neck all the time and telling her she's doing everything wrong etc. and that it's her body and she has the right to do whatever she wants to it.
Once I suggested she get help or talk to a doctor or something and she was furious. She started crying as she always does and ended up running off.
I feel so useless. It's like all I can do is stand beside her and watch her getting smaller and smaller.
Her ribs are starting to show. Her hip bones stick out a bit and her collar bones stick out a lot. She keeps this weird food diary thing. Her bmi is 20.4, is that bad? And at the moment she eats under 800kcal a day. That's really bad isn't it? For the past three days she's lowered it to under 400kcal a day.
How am I supposed to talk to her about this? She knows I'm concerned, but she doesn't care. She knows I think she doesn't need to lose weight, but she said that it's stupid to listen to other people's oppinions and it's better to do something because you want to do it not because other people think you should do it. And she knows I think she's beautiful but again, she doesn't care. I feel like no matter what I say she won't listen to me. She doesn't want to hear it.
Posted by ♥dream_angel♥
Sometimes when people have a problem they don't want to admit it until something bad happens as a result of it. I understand your pain in watching your girlfriend abuse her body. Have you ever thought about staging an intervention? Maybe it would be helpful to get some people together who really care about her and tell her that you're not going to allow this anymore. Make it clear to her that all of you are not going to stand by while she continues to hurt herself. As hard as it is, sometimes you have to let people hit rock bottom before they will listen to reason. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation to protect your own well being.
Posted by Zurby.
I'm speaking from experience, I used to be just like her.
You need to sit her down, yeah, she's going to cry and try and make excuses, but you need to do something about it. Tell her that she needs to tell someone, and if she doesn't then you will. Here's the thing, IT WILL KILL HER if she continues. She'll probably hate you for it and it might end your relationship with her, but if you love her, you'll do what's best for her. Anorexics can't simply "choose" to start eating again, it's a disorder. They can't help it. You need to get her help.
Don't think that showering her with compliments or telling her that she's beautiful and doesn't need to lose weight will help her. They suffer from distorted body image, they don't see what everyone else sees. No matter what you or anyone else says, they'll never see themselves the way you see them. You need to get her help, and you need to be there for her once you do. Even if she rejects you at first, be there to listen to her. She'll need it. She's hurting more than you realize right now.
Good luck, and I'm praying for the both of you. <3
Posted by Jess M
http://www.something-fishy.org/
check out this site.
my girlfriend had a bad time of it last year. her dr wanted to put her in the hospital and would have if she didn't start eating something. at that point she couldn't but she could drink ensure.
here is the thing. i could not say anything at all to make it better. anytime i said anything it made it worse.
the site above is a good one for info and support
good luck
Posted by Hahahahaha... ^_^
You need to tell other people. Contact her parents, friends, etc. If you are still in school, try and tell a teacher or counselor. Get a group of people who care about her together to talk about it and convince her.
Just don't do this by yourself. Another thing is that you may need to be forceful. Not physically, but if she cries, then you just need to let her. Don't back off and let her be, just stay there. Keep talking. The key thing is to get her to a professional. Just convince her to see a counselor or psychologist.
Good luck!
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