In your opinion do I have an eating disorder?I asked this question once before about a week ago, the people that answered said I was trying to be funny, and to stop spamming. I assure you that I am telling the complete honest truth. I need advice. Please. I am lost.
I count calories, every single one. Even in chewing gum and tic tacs, things that seem small and unimportant to others, I count it. I starve myself sometimes for usually just a day, sometimes up to three days. I set daily calorie limits for myself and If I go over I punish myself the next day with exercise and lack of food. I usually eat 200-500 calories a day. But also some days (rarely) its as if I have forgotten this is all its entirety and eat about 1000 calories a day. I take laxatives if I feel like I have eaten too much. I usually won't eat unless other people tell me too or it is socially unexeptable not to eat. I try to throw up my food but I have never done it successfully. I look at pro ana quotes and look at thinsporation. I honestly can say I think emaciated people about to die look lovely and beautiful, and I wish my bones showed like that. I hate the feeling of food inside me sometimes. Sometimes I will count all the bites I take or make sure I take a certain number of bites. I will cut food so it is so small, like apples, into a billion pieces so thin and small. I exercise in the shower. I have an obsession with the number five and three. When I eat I say "ok 25 chews for every bite" or "just 15 for sit ups" or "ill just eat five crackers". And when I exercise I will tell myself "just three more" or when I eat "just three more bites" or "only eat three bites or be fat forever." But the thing is I am age 15. Female.127 pounds. I am 5'5''. I am an average/healthy weight. I am not emaciated or especially skinny at all. I hate my body and I feel like a cow. I weigh myself every day and calculate my BMI. I constantly think about food and my want to be thinner. This is a recent behavior for me. In the last 20 days I have lost 10 pounds. My weight is ever shifting closer to zero. The number on my scale dictates my happiness for the day, if I weigh less I feel happy. If i gained even 0.01lb I am depressed and irritated. When I started doing all this I weigh 137 pounds. I used to eat 1200 calories a day. Sometimes its as if I have a voice in my head telling me not to eat, urging me to wait just a little longer, reassuring me that it will be worth it. So in your opinion do I have an eating disorder? Should I seek help? Should I embrace this? To me I feel like its just something to do, I got bored and decided I want to lose weight. And I am. I feel guilty after I eat, if I don't eat for a long time, I want to brag and tell everyone but I don't. Nobody has even noticed the behavior change in me or weight loss. I think I basically look the same. My ultimate goal is 100 pounds or less. Is that wrong? What do I do? If you do feel I have an eating disorder, If you would please state which disorder you think I have, and diagnose me?
I also avoid eating meals cooked by other people because I don't know what exactly they put in it and I won't know the exact number of calories. I will lie and say I ate other places or say I am sick or anything I can to avoid eating dinner. But the weird thing is I enjoy cooking but I don't like to eat it. I like to watch other people eat, its like a personal victory when others eat and I don't. I feel like bragging and saying how skinny I am going to be and telling them how fattening their meal is, but I don't. Some of my friends have noticed some and they say its unhealthy and stuff but nothing any more than that. So am I blowing this out of proportion, am I just paranoid thinking I might have some kind of disorder? Ah I need help?!
Posted by Ellie
I think you may have an eating disorder, but it could just be a phase. I would say you have anorexia nervosa, but please consult your doctor and you can get help to stop being obsessive (you sound a little OCD too - obsessive compulsive disorder - but this is often a symptom of anorexia nervosa) ; starving yourself isn't healthy. Instead, find low calorie foods that you KNOW you can eat without getting fat.
Orignal From: Eating Disorders: In your opinion do I have an eating disorder?
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